What a week, getting back from therapy

for the last 5-6 weeks i’ve been to therapy and next week is going to be my last week there.

I’ve learnt a lot about myself and how to get around in my head. A few things i need to look at on a daily basis is my values, priorities in life.


some of my defining values that I have are:

  1. Respectful
  2. Reciprocity
  3. Adventurous
  4. Honest
  5. creative
  6. fair

the list above is of priority, i feel i and others needs to be respected. When I do not achieve respect i feel awful. not happy. when respects are not met. Respect must be given, adventure must be received/created. I feel things needs to be honest/fair.

At this moment these values are what i value, it may change in the future but these are the ones I am into today. 16/02/2019


The other thing I identified in my life is that I need to priorities:

  1. Myself/My Partner
  2. Family (Parents, siblings)
  3. Friends
  4. Work
  5. Others

There is no point sacrificing your health for work, or sacrificing family over friends. But my partner and I are priority if we’re in a deep serious relationship.

Talking to myself (aka dealing with the situation)

Every thought that goes through my head to make a decision or ponder on things in my life needs to be reasonably questioned so that I can handle my thoughts and emotion.

This allows me to stop thinking negatively and focusing on other avenues to fix the issue.

Whenever I feel stuck, overwhelmed, I need to re-view my current situation, relax, review, and identify the emotions, thoughts and beliefs at that particular point.

So for example: I feel overwhelmed because I am running around learning react.js, vue.js, java, etc… but that is causing me to be scared. This is because I have a limited belief and thought that I will never be good at these and not get a job.

If i take a step back from that I can review that I am good at programming, php, pythong, etc.. not excellent but good enough to pick up things fairly fast. I just need to give myself time.

Also the other thought running in my head is that I’ll never escape the QS job/career so I am going to be stuck there for the rest of my life. This is because I am not good at programming. But when i take a look back at the programme that I’ve done so far I can see that I am good, and I am going to get better.

I just need to focus maybe on one skill at a time or give myself some time to build my experience. I cannot be that GOOD that I know everything. Take a look at the courses we’ve gone through I am still working on it but looking at what they’re teaching is quite basic and not super crazy shit that people are expecting me to do.

side note: I should stop buying guides on udemy as lynda offers the same cheaper, better quality.


Life is a balance of cups and water, like Jim mentioned in his bootcamp. You have your family, relationships, friends, health, mental state, rest, work. You cannot keep doing one thing 40hours a week. You have to break it down or else it gets de-balanced and you’ll break and tip over.

For example today i’ve been doing my CV, doing, doing doing, etc… and I’d need to take a rest from this. Hence I am writing my log here and I am going to treat myself with a pastry later on, read a book or watch some TV or something to distract my thoughts and relax. The key to all interchange between state is to relax. I need to be more relax and mindful. It is not 3pm whilst I am writing this in Starbucks in London bridge.

I’ve got soo many ideas of so many things to do. But it has to be prioritised, one thing at a time. Not EVERYTHING. Don’t go 100% onto things that I cannot do.

I also want to build a meetup.com community of developers to have fun, code, and socialise.


Some of things that restricts me in life is bad beliefs that holds me down. One of the most crucial ones that I have is the belief that doing something that I love is going to make me hate it so much that I’ll have nothing left. Same goes with other weird belief such as only dating people outside of my social circle. If I date people within my social circle it will fuck things up. But it is more about managing my priorities and requirements at the moment.

For example if there is someone I connect very well at work, etc… and she’s nice. I shouldn’t dismiss the thought completely because of these ‘bad’ belief or rules i’ve created for myself.

The image below should be something to look at on a regular basis to get myself out there to analyse the situation.

Image result for cbt hot cross bun

foundation of my life:

  • Rest/relax
  • be patient – don’t rush
  • challenge your thinking regularly

weekend of meditation, sort of?

this weekend i stopped working on things. i just did thing i wanted to do.

not other people’s things.

its quite surprising that i have been wasting soo much time on people around me. wasted – literally.

i need to start saying no.

default is no


i’ve found a few books on blinkist on this. Will listen tomorrow on the way to work.

I’m kinda dreading and looking forward to work. i’ve got my review tomorrow. so should be ok.

I think i prefer diary writing online rather than on paper. its faster to jot down things off your mind.


that’s good i guess..


i spent Saturday – meditating, gym for 3-4 hours. then i went to get food from breakfast club, and has a pizza.

i really need to think of going out to Catford and making new friends in and around this part of the woods.


What i’ve learnt today.

after listening to think and grow rich- biggest takeaway is to focus on a goal.

focus on what you want, then write a plan on how you want it done.

for now my plan is to get a flat stomach in 3-4 months.

the plan is to focus on the nutrition and work on doing training in the morning.




Planning required

I have lost it again.
I need to start planning as my life is a bit all over the place.

No direction, etc….

I think I need to work out my diet/health plan, then look at the business goals and plan that.

I was actually thinking of moving this site to wordpress.com… but i decided not to.
its a bit too much of a hassle.

I feel a bit blank at the moment, not sure where to start.


I think the relationship is working ok atm, but needs to be maintained properly for my mind. My health has downgraded so that needs to be looked at.
I am thinking of taking a look at the Lean in 15 – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00Y33L2BQ/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

I am planning on selecting a few of the meals on the page and get the ingredients to follow through with it.

In terms of business there is an ever growing list of things to do.
The problem is priority.
And there is never a problem with what to do, its what to do first.
soo many things to do, one at a time.

Maybe i need to look at breaking down things or even setting up goals and work a portion or allocated time towards it?

Let’s take a crack at it:


Setup a Marketing meetup group
Get ISO 9001
Establish business to be top of the list for surveys on Google by reducing cost on PPC
Make website an authority in our topic

just thing…should i work on separate trello and add things to it slowly? let’s test this out.
basically i’d setup separate trello for big business goals.
Improve SEO
Improve PPC
ISO 9001 – Adding procedures
Improve Website
General Business Tasks

let’s go and take a look if that would work.

basically I would create separate trello boards with these business goals to try resolve




Need to work on my health

I need to fix my health, its not to its shape and i keep binge eating late night. This needs to change drastically. We need to remove all these ice creams and cakes out of the house.
i am also scared of looking after the business for two weeks. It’s going to be tough, but we have to work on it.

its going to be strange and difficult but I. Think with good planning we can take a look at it.


Trying Writer pro today and I’m unfit…

Had a terrible day, a lot to do at work.
I went to the gym today, a bit late but at least 45 min of workout. I was surprised that I couldn’t even run more than 5 min… pretty pathetic..

I need to build it up to 20min, I need to work out regularly every day of the week like I use to back a few months ago.
the problem is the nutrition, I need to eat a lot more good stuff and less bad stuff.
It’s pretty hard as today after dinner I just reached out to get an icecream. I need to be conscious about it and change one thing every day.
I will also take a look at the four-hour life in terms of food and workout I could try out, but I will prominently do the following that:

10min warmup + Legs and shoulders + 20min cardio
10min warmup + Chest and triceps + 20 min cardio
10min warmup + Biceps and back + 20 min cardio

I use to work this out 5 times a week and take 2 breaks from what I can recall, I was losing a lot of weight doing this.
I was also eating very little and making my own lunch day in and out.

My breakfast consisted of two porridge packs with bananas, sometimes I would have tea with a little bit of milk.
Then I would have some kind of snack at lunch time which would consist of avocado, wheat bread, mozzarella and chicken. I would normally have 2-3 portions of that.
I would sometimes swap the chicken around with tuna. The major problem with that was that sometimes it tasted awful. then for dinner I would just have a meal replacement shake.

Now I realised that milk isn’t so great, well…cow milk isn’t so great. I’ve been having goats milk for some time now and I find it really nice.
* this reminds me that I need to get some ground coffee tomorrow.

Hopefully, tomorrow I will be able to complete my coursework and head down to see Janet and spend time with her.
Tomorrow’s plan
tomorrow I am planning to wake up around 6-7pm and do some work until 7:30 where I will then prep to head down the gym early and get that high from the coffee supplement.
I will try to get at least 10min on the running machine, I think even though I can hit around 10-20min on skipping I can’t go beyond 5 on the running machine. I think it vital I gets back in shape before my summer holidays with Janet in France.
after the 10min warm up, I’ll be doing my chest and triceps and kill it hard. it will be 6 exercises consisting of 3 chests and 3x triceps. it will be 3×12 sets with a challenging weight that I will struggle on. I will start off on a test weight to see what I can lift and kill it hard to 10-12 sets.
hopefully I won’t be lazy and log it somewhere.

I will kill it with 3 exercises for the chest and then do the triceps to kill it off on the arms.
to finish off I will do some abs and do 20min of running.
this should be intense enough to get me hyped up.
hopefully I get my shakes tomorrow, but I doubt that’ll happen.

I just found this article on reps and sets on the dummies.com http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/weight-training-how-many-reps-and-sets-to-do.html .
the one thing that everyone should really be reminded of is that to put on muscle is to stress them enough and frequently so that it tears up. When you tear it up, you build more by supplementing your body with protein shakes, or good food with high protein content. Usually I find that hydro whey from optimum nutrition really works well with me because I gained a lot of lean muscle while using it, but it is expensive. I went back down to gold whey from optimum nutrition.
I just think that the stuffs they bring out is quality products and no imitation or crap that’s going to get you into some serious trouble.
you want quality food in you.

after gym
after the gym, I’ll head back home and continue cracking on the coursework. I am aiming to finish off the insurance/3rd parties liability coursework by midday so that I can crack on the payment terms later on during the afternoon.
with that out of the way, I can go finish off the first question and hopefully spend Sunday editing.

I also need to remind myself to pay for the re-sit fee for university. that’s going to cost me a good £100…
well i deserve it for not getting it right the first time around.
In terms of business, I hopefully will use this opportunity to use those research to write up blogs/resource for the public.
I think I should be targeting potential clients who are going to start undertaking construction works and will potential need to know where to start technically and look at topographical surveys to start on their building process.
We could sell it in the sense that you need a topographical survey as they would need to get a survey done as they need to provide accurate information to designers, etc.…
I will also use this opportunity to write about quantity surveying topics that I am covering so that I am knocking it out.
anyway kinda tired right now, I’m going to run this through grammarly.com and submit this with some photos.tumblr_mchwjiZJdT1r600xqo1_500


Update, I’m now 84kg only 4kg till my new target

48/365 - 10 Less in 30 Days
Image by oblivion9999 via Flickr

My new weight is now 84.5kg!

I am quite happy I sort of skipped 85kg somehow….

Well anyway now that I reached and passed my 85kg target I am now aiming to reach 80kg within 4 weeks or 1 week after my exams on the first of June. I will be going to the gym everyday, no matter what the weather or circumstances I must dedicated myself to going.

Once I reach my goal, which I hope is around June time, I will have the summer holidays to work really hard to tone up and build a good chest and arms. My aim for this year is to get around 78kg with a  body fat percentage of 8-12. Which should be really good. And hopefully I’ll be sorted with my immigration issues.



The Most Comprehensive Fat Loss Program Ever!


After a watching UndergroundWellness‘s videos for a year now I just found out he posted a playlist of “The Most Comprehensive Fat Loss Program Ever!”.
I do agree to most of it except from the protein shake warning. Personally I think they are great and I don’t think they are that harmful. But the point is this is a great list of videos.
Have a look for yourself.



The best Iphone/ipod app for fitness: iPump FitnessBuilder

I recently stumble upon this really cool app on the iTunes app store. It was what I was looking for in an iphone health app. LOADS of workouts and programmes to chose from. It contains over 400 workouts and LOADS of programmes for different goals and environment. The best one is the home workout, this is really useful if you cannot afford the £20-40 membership fee for a gym. Continue reading “The best Iphone/ipod app for fitness: iPump FitnessBuilder”

I lost my Portion control

After over indulging myself in a lot of fried noddle tonight, I realised I lost my portion control.

I should start going back to my old roots, eating small portions and wait it out to see if I get full. Why? because it takes 20min for your body to realise that you are full. So by eating small portions and waiting is the best thing to do so that you can try stop eating more than what you are suppose to.

To help me even more a glass of water after the first portion should make myself full for a while. So this should work and hopefully I shouldn’t indulge myself with 2 portions of a meal.