sex and friendship

yesterday and today…well today i had sex with my ex. It started as anormal drink/dinner and we ended up having sex.

I wanted it, she wanted and we done it. I’m not sure what to look out for in life and what i should be striving for.

i dont know what i want.


maybe just sex? but can i live like this for the next 20 years of just having sex and not building anything permanent?

i dont know.


deep down i want something that grows, and not just temporary.

i’ve met this girl online, promising but we’ll see….

she’s quite distant but hopefully we’ll see if she’s a good person.

im going to take it easy with the dating thing and not worry too much about it.

i also want to fuck the shit out Eva, even though she is a friend, i really want to do her one and see how far it goes. i do care for her, and i feel bad about her situation but i feel she needs someone to take over all that shit from her.


i’m also going to get back in shape and get my life sorted out. im signing out now and waking up early for a bit of meditation, skipping, and cooking breakfast.


peace out